Maybe it’s not the first day of kindergarten, but the first day of daycare can feel painful for new parents all the same. It’s the first time you’ve spent that much time away from your infant or toddler and the first of many years of school (queue the internal mommy tears).
But it’s also very exciting watching your little human experience their first big step into the world and making new friends all on their own. Being in the daycare business for nearly 20 years, I know how emotional this day can be. I also know some ways to make it a little easier on you and your child as you transition into part time or full time daycare.
Here’s 6 tips on surviving your child’s first drop off:
1. Tears Are Normal
Daycare is a huge change in your child’s life, so tears are definitely to be expected. Dropping them off and leaving them with a stranger that they don’t know can be very daunting and they will most likely cry. On the other hand, they may not, depending on their attachment style. For example, if your child has a secure attachment style, they may be perfectly fine with you leaving for a bit.
No matter how your child reacts, try to be honest with how you will feel on the first day. Consider how you will feel if they cry and how you will feel if they don’t. Preparing yourself mentally for both outcomes will make the first drop off go way smoother. And remember, tears are normal whether they’re your child’s or yours!
2. Long Goodbyes Aren’t Good Goodbyes
One mistake I see over and over again are parents taking extended goodbyes on the first drop off. Of course it’s not easy for you to say goodbye, but it’s not easy on your child either. The only thing long goodbyes do is prolong your child’s anxiety of you leaving and prolong their tears. It’s much better to rip off the Band-Aid and have a quick hand off to your provider (point one will help you be ready for this).
And you know what happens every time? Your child will stop crying after 5 minutes! As a mother, I know there’s nothing more painfully difficult than leaving your baby when they are crying for you. But I guarantee it will make the transition a lot easier for both you and your child in the long run.
3. Schedule a Transition Period
If your child has an anxious attachment style and needs time to adapt to change, sometimes the best way to start daycare for them is to schedule a transition period.
Take the first week of daycare and drop them off for an hour or two at a time while you run errands. This way you can establish that when you leave, you will always come back. Building this routine for both you and your child can make the first full day at daycare much easier.
4. Expect Exhaustion
After tears at drop off, anxiety of being taken care of by a stranger, and being surrounded by children they don’t know, the first day of daycare can leave your child very exhausted. Expect that when you pick them up, they will be very tired and drained from all the new stimuli from the day and will probably want to sleep.
Depending on your child, this may be the case for the first day, week, or even month.
5. Sometimes Your Child May Not Want To Leave
Often times, parents don’t consider that their child may not be all that excited to leave. This can be very upsetting, especially when you’ve missed them all day and are excited to pick them up.
If your child has a secure attachment style, they may want to stay not because they aren’t excited to see you, but because they love all the newness involved with daycare. They are adventurous, social, and enjoy new experiences. And, because they are secure, there’s no worry in their mind that you would leave them.
6. Communicate With Your Provider
My last tip is to keep in close communication with your daycare provider for the first week. Not only do you want to make sure everything is going well with your child, but small connections throughout the day help ease your mind and build trust with your provider.
Dropping off your child on the first day of daycare is never easy for either of you, but it’s an exciting transition that will become easier with each passing day. If you follow these tips, your first day can be a piece of cake!